Gunnuttery category archive

Drive politely.

Police say a woman has died after accidentally shooting herself while getting inside a car.

(snip)

Preliminary investigation has revealed that the woman was getting inside the car, when her gun accidentally went off.

(Update: Link fixed.)

Look for a sign of politeness.

LPD (Lincoln, Nebraska, Police Dept.–ed.) said the 63-year-old man was unloading the gun after seeing a sign that said it must be unloaded before going into the facility, when it accidentally fired and hit him in the leg.

The man’s three grandchildren were with him and no else was hurt.

. . . and yet another gun fires itself.

I am thankful that I never had a gun that fired itself. Mine always required a force to be applied to the trigger.

Celebrate courteously.

Authorities say Graham was out celebrating his birthday with Gonzalez and three other adults early Monday when he pulled his vehicle over in the area of West Monaville Road and West Old Monaville Road near Lake Villa. Sheriff’s police said Graham and Gonzalez got out and began firing a sawed-off shotgun into the air.

After they returned to the vehicle with Graham driving again and Gonzalez sitting in the back seat with the shotgun, the weapon accidentally fired, striking the Round Lake Park man in the head, according to sheriff’s police.

A sawyer? Really?

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Play politely.

The Travis County Sheriff’s Office was called to Hatton Hill Lane, near State Highway 130 and Webberville Road, at around 5:50 p.m. They found the teenager shot in the abdomen and medics took him to University Medical Center Brackenridge in critical condition.

Investigators determined the boy and another teenager were handling the gun and accidentally fired the weapon. Deputies say the 15 year old is in good condition at the hospital.

Be polite to your bride-to-be.

Deputies said Reum was riding with her fiancé, Tampa Fire Rescue paramedic Logan McLain, 29, in their 2012 Toyota Tacoma pick-up. Reum was driving. McLain reached into the center console to get his handgun, deputies said, when a gunshot was fired that struck Reum in the right thigh.

Maybe he should have stuck to texting while driving.

The Roanoke Times’s Dan Casey was recently gifted (when did “gift become a verb?) with a membership in the NRA. He discusses it in today’s column. A nugget:

Among the membership benefits are discounted hotel and car rentals and free insurance that would pay up to $5,000 if I accidentally shot myself. . . .

That seemed attractive because, figuratively, I shoot myself in the foot all the time. Those payouts would make for a nifty retirement fund, you know?

Anyway, I was touched by Matthews’ (the gifter–ed.) thoughtfulness and generosity. So I called to thank him for the membership. He sounded quite gracious. He urged me to read “America’s 1st Freedom.”

“Maybe you’ll learn something,” Matthews said.

Right — like how former President Barack Obama seized everybody’s guns.

But wait! There’s more (at the link).

Don’t let politeness take a back seat to anything.

A driver for the Uber ride-sharing service was shot in the back by a drunken passenger on Interstate 78 in Upper Saucon Township, police said.

Stefan E. Zdanowicz, 24, of Bethlehem, a back seat passenger, was moving his 9mm pistol from one jacket pocket to another at 12:20 a.m. on Sunday when he fired the gun, state police at Fogelsville said Friday.

Do the math. Guns + stupid + booze = NRA Paradise.

Politeness is a family value.

Authorities said two boys, four and six, were in a home on Falkirk Road near Rambelwood Road at the time of the shooting. The six-year-old pulled the trigger and shot his little brother in the upper body.

The child is expected to recover, and, no doubt, the family will be stronger for it.

Stick politeness in your pants and carry it about with you (emphasis added).

Police say the man had a derringer-style pistol loaded with .410 buckshot when it accidentally discharged while secured in the front waistband of his pants.

The man suffered gunshot injuries to his groin and inner thigh and was transported by CareFlite ambulance to the Terrell Municipal Airport where an awaiting CareFlite medical helicopter further transported him to Parkland Memorial Hospital in Dallas, Texas.

“Secured.”

Yeah.

Right.

Be polite to your friends.

Around 8:30 p.m. Sunday, a resident on Seafare, a small street off of Seaglen Drive that leads into the complex, was showing off his gun to a visitor when the firearm accidentally discharged, said sheriff’s Lt. Steve Gill.

Anyone who knows how to handle firearms knows that there are only two types of discharges: “intentional” and “negligent.” “Accidental” is not an option.

Be polite to the children.

The child’s father, Matthew Wezowicz, told KARK that a friend, Jeremiah Owens, came to his house to check on him and the child. Owens was looking at a gun that Matthew Wezowicz had recently bought but the gun went off, and the child was shot.

May your firearm guide others to the stairway to heaven.

Politeness must be carefully taught.

Mary Knowlton, 73, a former librarian at Parkview Elementary School, was participating in a two-hour training course Aug. 9, 2016, in Punta Gorda, Fla. Her trainer, Coel, was demonstrating a shoot-don’t-shoot scenario and fired what he thought were blanks at Knowlton.

The gun was loaded. Knowlton was shot and pronounced dead that night at Lee Memorial Hospital in Fort Myers, Fla.

The trainer, police officers, have been charged.

Exercise politeness on the public thoroughfares.

Around 6 p.m. New Roads Police responded to the scene of a reported accidental shooting on Highway 10. According to the New Roads Police Chief, four teens were traveling in a vehicle on their way back from the Mardi Gras parades in New Roads.

Police say the four were playing with a gun when it accidentally discharged, shooting one of the four in the neck. The shooting suspect was also shot in the finger.

Get a leg up on politeness.

Witnesses say one of the victims accidentally discharged a gun, striking himself in the leg. A bullet fragment then hit the other victim in the ankle.

Friends are polite to each other.

He and three other teenage boys took a family member’s firearm, said Shari Ireton, a spokeswoman for the Snohomish County Sheriff’s Office.

(snip)

Deputies were told the 15-year-old was handling the gun when it accidentally fired. A 17-year-old was struck in the arm. His injuries weren’t life-threatening.

The 15-year-old boy panicked, Ireton said. He dropped the gun and ran.

And another gun that fires itself . . . .

Suffer the children.

Yet another sacrifice to the NRA’s portable penis.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

As ye proceed through thy day,
Scatter politeness along thy way.

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