Gunnuttery category archive

No doubt, had the driver been packing, this would not have happened.

Broward Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman Gina Carter said deputies were called to a rollover crash on Hallandale Beach Boulevard, just west of Interstate 95, about 2:30 a.m.

Carter said a passenger in the car told deputies that a gun in his possession accidentally fired, striking the driver and causing the crash.

Just another day in NRA Paradise.

Volunteer politely.

Attorney James Davis represents George Matis Jr., of Republic (Pennsylvania–ed.), who remained jailed on criminal homicide and reckless endangerment charges in the Sunday shooting of 16-year-old Parker Hess at the Republic Volunteer Fire Company.

Hess was shot when Matis removed his legally owned gun from a holster and it fired, striking Hess in the cheek, state police said in a criminal complaint. Investigators haven’t said whether the shooting was accidental, but Davis believes it was.

In related news, it must have been the little white tail, reprise.

The hunt for politeness continues.

Troopers say Kristopher Paro was in a tree stand in the woods behind his home in the Oswego County town of Sandy Creek around 4:40 p.m. Thursday when he heard what he thought was a deer about 100 yards away.

Police say Paro fired a shot, unaware that his father, 58-year-old Kevin Paro, had gone into the woods a short time earlier to hunt. Troopers say the father was hit in the chest by a round from his son’s .270-caliber rifle.

Many years ago, when my brother lived in Vermont, his old boss overheard a conversation between two out-of-state hunters.

One said, “Did to see anything?”

The other answered, “No, but I got off a couple of sound shots.”

His boss gave up hunting at that moment.

In case you are wondering, this was a “sound shot.”

Do not let politeness take a back seat to anything.

William Glosson had bought two weapons (at the gun show-ed.), one of which was similar to a gun he already owned. Once they were in the vehicle to leave the fairgrounds, Daniel Glosson handed his personal weapon and one of the handguns he had purchased to Judd, who was sitting in the backseat, to compare the two weapons.

Harrison said Judd accidentally caused the loaded weapon to discharge. The projectile struck the seat and then struck Alyssa Glosson in the back of the head.

The story says no charges will be filed because Hey! Stuff Happens.

Be polite to your neighbors.

A bullet went through a kitchen cabinet and shattered some glass pans in a home on Evergreen Road.

The rear neighbor was putting his gun in a new holster when it misfired.

The bullet went through the dining room wall, through the backyards, and into the neighbor’s house.

. . . and yet another gun that fired itself

Afterthought:

When I was young ‘un, back in the olden days, “misfire” meant that, when you pulled the trigger, nothing happened. Must be some of that gun nut newspeak.

Politeness is essential in a process of learning.

A gun that a first-grader brought to a St. Paul elementary school fired one round in a class full of students Thursday morning, police and the School District said. No one was injured.

Conduct yourself with courtesy while in your wheeled conveyance.

The victims were stopped in a car at a traffic light about 4 p.m. near Rainier Avenue South and South Bayview Street when a white catering van attempted to pull into their lane and almost hit their car, police reports say.

The victims honked at the van, allegedly prompting the van’s driver to pull out a handgun and point it at the car.

The victim car ran the red light to evade the gunman and reportedly heard gunshots behind them as they lost sight of the van, reports indicate.

Politeness starts at a young age.

“One of the kids found a gun in the closet. It was unsecured, unlocked. He was messing with the gun. It went off. He shoots the 3-year-old right in the neck,” said Derrick Jackson, Washtenaw County Sheriff’s Office Director of Community Outreach. “The 3-year-old goes to run out of the room and collapses. Mom picks the three-year-old up, runs into the hallway. Neighbors called 911.”

Our polity suffers from lead poisoning.

Party politely at the confluence of stupid and lead along the banks of the river alcohol.

Officers found Sass-Loken, who was transported to Winona Health, then airlifted to Gunderson in La Crosse, where he was in intensive care Monday morning.

Officers recovered a handgun at the scene and took Lucas Ryan Schultz, 20, of Winona into custody. Schultz was released from the Winona County Jail Sunday following an initial investigation.

Williams said the incident “appears to be accidental,” according to witness accounts and the initial investigation. . . . “It appears there was drinking going on,” Williams added.

This is your Second Amendment Solution to rearing the young.

Police in Gaston County are investigating after they said a 2-year-old boy was accidentally shot in the stomach early Thursday morning. . . .

Neighbors said that Ware told them that the child somehow got a hold of the gun and shot himself in the stomach.

(snip)

Neighbors said the boy’s father has a reputation for firing his gun in the area.

“There’s been several times where I’ve seen him out here shooting at people’s feet and acting crazy,” Amanda Cunningham said.

Set an example of politeness for your children.

Police have arrested 31-year-old Zach Cory for accidentally shooting his 8-year-old daughter.

(snip)

Detectives tell us the girl’s father, 31-year-old Cory, was inside a house near Pecos and Las Vegas Boulevard Tuesday night when his gun discharged. Cory is now facing felony child abuse charges.

Friends and family say he’s an excellent father.

Set an example by being polite to yourself.

Deputies say they arrived and found a 63-year-old man with a gunshot wound.

Authorities say he had been sitting with his 9mm gun in his front pocket and that the gun slipped out of his pocket when he stood up.

As it hit the floor, the sheriff’s office says the gun discharged one round, striking the man in the hip and exiting through the front of his leg.

The stupid. It burns.

Had the little girl been packing, no doubt she could have defended herself.

A 6-year-old girl and her 5-year-old boy relative both suffered gunshot wounds about 10:30 a.m. Monday, Oct. 31 . . . .

A biological grandmother of one of the children was picking the children up from the home of their aunt and uncle, Gregory said. The grandmother schools the children at her home, the chief said.

When the boy entered the grandmother’s van, he picked up a 9mm pistol resting in the door of the van and accidentally fired it, Gregory said. The bullet went through the boy’s hand and struck the girl in the thigh, Gregory said.

Another gun achieves the gunnularity and fires itself.*

An off-duty Lincoln County Sheriff’s deputy who was showing her service weapon to guests at her home Saturday fired the gun by accident striking her 11-year-old daughter, according to the Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office.

Misty Michelle Flowers, 38, who works as a deputy at the Lincoln County Courthouse, was showing the weapon to friends at her home on Loop Road when the gun fired and went through a wall striking the girl in the next room.

Ammosexuals just have to flaunt it.

________________

*It’s called “grammar,” folks, and it matters.

Friends share politeness:

Ahern said his friend had stopped by Ahern’s apartment to visit and asked to see the handgun, which Ahern said he and his friend had used for target practice in New Hampshire in the past, according to the report. Ahern told police they were in his bedroom when he showed his friend the gun and that he didn’t think the gun was loaded.

Ahern said that after his friend placed the gun onto his bed, Ahern picked up the weapon by the trigger and it discharged, which startled both of them. Ahern told police he then drove his wounded friend to the hospital.

They never think the gun is loaded and they are always too caught up in ammosexual heat to check.

Nothing is as polite as a little stolen politeness.

He was fondling his gun and it ejacula–oh, never mind.

(Link fixed. I must have had a case of missing links yesterday.)

Practice makes perfect (emphasis added).

A Parma man is in critical condition after he was accidentally struck by a stray bullet fired by two men who had been target-shooting with their rifle next door.(snip)When they arrived, the shooting was ongoing and deputies set up a perimeter around the area, said Cpl. John Helfer.

For some reason, the deputies did not call in a SWAT team, but waited for the shooting to stop before moving in.

Gee, I wonder what that reason might have been . . . .

Afterthought:

Will someone please make the bastard coinage “ongoing” disappear?

Addendum:

The updated story reports that the practicing pals have been charged with assault and reckless endangerment.

If only she’d been packing, this would not have happened.