Gunnuttery category archive

Southern Beale.

The hunt for politeness continues.

Suffolk police responded to the scene at 9:40 a.m. and found a man, whose exact age wasn’t being released, with “minor gunshot injuries,” Kelley said. He was treated and released from Sentara Obici Hospital.

A preliminary investigation found that another hunter who was trying to shoot a deer accidentally struck the man, Kelley said.

I find it highly unlikely the fellow was out hunting in a Bambi suit.

Ammosexual dreamin’ in a winter’s day . . . .

Via Job’s Anger.

Celebrate politely.

A nine-year-old girl was shot in the arm just after midnight, possibly the result of celebratory gunfire, Orlando police said.

(snip)

Officers have no suspect information because the round “seemed to be from the voluminous amounts of gunfire” happening at the time.

The last roundup.

Demonstrate politeness.

A 29-year-old woman was fatally shot in the face by her 34-year-old brother last week, according to Rio Rancho police, who said it may have been an accident.

Chelsea Goupil of Rio Rancho was shot Dec. 23 with a small-caliber handgun, according to Lt. Matt Ross. The department has not released the name of Goupil’s brother because no charges have been filed against him.

(snip)

He said in an interview that the weapon fired while it was being “shown to someone.”

And yet another gun that mysteriously goes off all on its ownsome.

And, in more news of the polite . . . .

Protect your family with politeness.

During the investigation, police learned the homeowner was sleeping in her bed when she thought an intruder entered the house and was quickly approaching her.

The woman then fired one round at the subject, who was later identified as the homeowner’s daughter.

The story (follow the link) refers to this as an “accidental shooting.” The woman picked up the gun, pointed it, and pulled the trigger. Nothing “accidental” in that.

Of course, had the daughter had a gun, this no doubt would not have happened. At least, that’s Gun Nut reasoning.

Thus passes another day in Gun Nut Paradise.

Pump-action politeness:

According to a police report, the suspect approached a clerk at Viva Video (seen below) last Wednesday night and “attempted to return a sexual device” he had previously purchased at the St. Paul business.

The customer claimed the item–which police identified as a penis pump–did not work as advertised. However, the store clerk declined the return request “because [the pump] had been used,” cops noted.

After being rebuffed by the employee, “the suspect pulled out a black handgun and threatened the clerk” before fleeing from the business (without a new penis pump).

The fellow still has his ammosex toy.

Via Job’s Anger.

A polite society is a clean society.

A 2-year-old girl was hospitalized after her uncle accidentally shot her while cleaning a gun on Christmas morning.

Just another day in Gun Nut Paradise, where the carnage of innocents is a routine and acceptable byproduct of boys stroking their ammosex toys.

Disney Land installs metal detectors at entrances. Here’s a snippet from Mary Sanchez’s article:

Some see this as preparedness in the face of our new normal, but it’s really an abdication. Disneyland is locking itself up against the possibility of mass shootings because Americans are starting to accept that nothing else can be done.

This is the normalizing of fear. And it happens because politicians are unwilling to do anything to actually make us safer in the form of expanded background checks or limits on gun ownership.

Gun Nut Paradise progresses apace.

Southern Beale points out that the proof is in the packing.

Politeness takes practice.

While target shooting with a .22 caliber rifle at the indoor range, a 12-year-old boy dropped the weapon after a hot bullet casing burned him. When the rifle hit the ground, it fired. The bullet struck a man in the leg.

Politeness is a family affair.

The girl’s mother told officers she had brought home two .50-caliber muzzleloaded guns from a cabin.

Butler County sheriff’s investigator Randle Huddleston said the girl’s father thought they were unloaded.

He picked one of them up, and while handling the firearm, he inadvertently squeezed the trigger, and it went off.

She has politeness all over her shoulder, face, and chest.

Aside:

Methinks the writer inadvertently misplet “negligently.”

Don ye now ye polite apparel . . . .

A Comer man accidentally shot himself in the arm last week at his home, according to a Madison County Sheriff’s report.

The 71-year-old man told officers he went to get his .38-caliber pistol when the clothing he was wearing became entangled in the trigger and it discharged, Chief Deputy Shawn Burns said Monday.

There’s nothing like neighborly politeness.

(Sheriff’s investigator–ed.) Haislip says two men who live on Crepe Myrtle road near the town of Blue went down the road to their neighbors house and were confronted by three people.

A man at the house had a handgun on him, and Haislip said they then got into a fight over the gun.

“Somehow the gun was either dropped or taken away from someone and there was a fight over the gun and during the course of the fight the gun went off,” Haislip said.

A woman who lives at the home was shot in the hand, she had to be flown to the Medical Center of Plano and is expected to be okay.

Of course, if everyone, and not just one person, had been packing, NRA magic would have ensured that no one was injured.

There’s room for politeness.

Redman says the boy was inside a hotel room with 8 to 10 other teenagers ranging in age, from 13 to 19, with one 19-year-old. It’s unclear if the 19-year-old rented the room, or if it was another adult.

“It looks like at some point someone displayed the weapon and then accidentally discharged it,” said Redman.

If all of them had had guns, NRA magic would have ensured that this would not have happened.

You find politeness in unexpected places.

An older brother tells Channel 2’s Steve Gehlbach the 13-year-old brought the pistol home after finding it in the neighborhood somewhere.

He showed it to him, and neither thought the gun was real.

According to the brother, there was no magazine in it, but the teen was playing with it and accidentally fired one shot, hitting his mother in the neck.

Scattering more guns about would no doubt have prevented this.