Gunnuttery category archive

Self-politeness is the politest kind.

A South Dakota man is currently in custody after telling police officers he was shot in the penis by a “black guy” when he actually shot himself while attempting to purchase a gun illegally, reports the Argus Leader.

Note the use of the all-purpose “blame a black guy” strategy.

Politeness. You can’t handle the politeness.

Sacramento County sheriff’s investigators say Brown mishandled the weapon, discharging the round that struck Sovenski in the chest and killed her.

Ensure that children have the opportunity to be polite.

Police Chief William Moore said police got a 911 call at 9:01 a.m. for a gunshot wound in one of the apartments at The Commons Way off Mill Pond Drive. Moore said a couple was home with their children when a handgun went off. The bullet apparently hit the woman in the buttocks area and came out of her abdomen.

(snip)

Mayor Craig Randall said he was told by police that the couple’s 3-year old child was believed to have fired the weapon.

Just another day in NRA Paradise.

He forgot that the polite do it in the back seat.

The 38-year-old victim, whose identity has not been released by police, was found in the driver’s seat of his car with a gunshot wound to the abdomen. A gun was sitting on the passenger seat of the car.

“It looks like (the shooting was a result of) an accidental mishandling* of a firearm. All of the evidence appears consistent with that determination,” Sheriff’s Office spokesman Capt. Bob Bromage said Sunday.

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*Yet another report in which “fondling” is misplet.

Politeness takes practice.

Politeness is essential between life partners.

Police said the boyfriend came home around midnight to the couple’s home near NW 11th and Villa. The girlfriend was startled and shot the man in the head.

Shoot first, get questioned later–always a good policy.

Some folks just can’t handle politeness.

Police spoke with a witness at the hospital who said the 39-year-old man was handling* a handgun at a home in the 1500 block of Reid Avenue when it discharged and struck him in the abdomen.

And, in more news of the polite . . . .
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*I got a dollar to a doughnut that “fondling” would have been a more accurate term.

Trained, professional politeness.

Twice-told politeness.

A 16-year-old Tulsa teen is in serious condition after police say he shot himself in the leg for the second time in three months.

Get a leg up on politeness.

According to the Mason County Sheriff’s Office, the 49-year-old man was with a group of men shooting at a 55-gallon drum that contained two pounds of Tannerite, which is an explosive used in making exploding targets for firearm practice. The drum splintered into several jagged pieces and one of the pieces nearly severed the leg of the man about 150 feet away. The man was sitting behind a tree, but had his leg exposed.

I can visualize the conversation:

“Hey, dudes, let’s go shoot up a barrel full of explosives!”

“Sounds like a plan, bro! What could possibly go wrong?”

Now, about those intelligence tests . . . .

. . . and, as observed previously, a polite society is a clean society, and a clean society is a happy society.

Officers were called to a home in the 4000 block of Lori Circle where a man reported he’d shot the woman while cleaning his gun.

In an exception to the normal content of this series, here is a case of a truly accidental shooting:

“We had a gentleman who was shooting on our 25-yard pistol range, and he was reloading a magazine. In the process of that, he drops one of the bullets to the ground. Something malfunctioned with that bullet and it ignited. A little bit of the casing flew up and hit him in the leg and arm,” explained Brandon Johnson, the Vice President of Marketing. “It was very unusual… Typically when something like that happens to ammunition, it happens inside the barrel of a gun. It causes some kind of a jam or a malfunction. It might require a gunsmith to undo that, but it usually doesn’t result in any kind of injury.”

Not only are guns and stupid a bad mix, so too are guns and clumsy.

Be polite when babysitting.*

According to a Casa Grande Police Department press release, investigators determined that Mike Lee Dickey, 39, was removing his .45-caliber handgun from his waistband in the bathroom at about 2 a.m. when it discharged. The bullet passed through two doors, striking the boy in his upper left arm while he slept in a nearby bedroom.

Read more »

Politeness is a family thing.

Police responding to a report of an accidental shooting at a Norwich apartment just after 8 p.m. Monday found 58-year-old Dianna Hodgdon with a gunshot wound to the upper torso.

She was pronounced dead after emergency responders arrived at the scene.

Police say an initial investigation led them to suspect the shooting was not accidental.

Aside:

As one of my two or three commenters has pointed out, there is no such thing as an “accidental” shooting.

Intentional or negligent, but not accidental. There are no other choices.

On the road, make sure you have the polite-of-way.

According to police, the victim, 26-year-old Demario Thompkins, exchanged words with the other driver after the minor accident near Greenfield. That’s when police say the other driver pulled a gun and shot the man in the head.

Police say Thompkins’ girlfriend and his one-year-old son were in the car when he was shot and killed but were unharmed.

The polite build families at the confluence of guns and stupid.

Police said the man is a concealed carry permit holder and was preparing to go target shooting when the incident occurred.

He was removing the magazine from the 9 mm handgun when a round was discharged and struck his wife (in the ankle–ed.), according to police.

Note how the phrasing implies that the weapon somehow mysteriously fired itself all on its ownsome.

If it was an accident, why was he pointing the damn gun in the general direction of another person?

Politeness builds strong families 12 ways.

A shooting in Rankin County leaves a five-year-old girl hospitalized after deputies say her nine-year-old brother pulled the trigger.

Just collateral damage in NRA Paradise . . . .

Leonard Pitts, Jr., thinks it’s “game over.”

“In retrospect,” wrote Hodges, “Sandy Hook marked the end of the U.S. gun control debate. Once America decided killing children was bearable, it was over.”

You may cringe to hear the nation’s response to the December 2012 massacre of 20 young children — six school staff members also died — at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., described in that fashion, but you can’t deny the brutal truth of the observation.

Follow the link for the rest.

Face up to the need for politeness.

Newport News police are investigating an accidental shooting Tuesday evening after a 45-year-old woman had been shot in the face, according to a news release.

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Get a load of politeness.

The sister of two men killed by gunfire late Sunday in Opelousas told authorities that one brother killed himself after he accidentally shot and killed the other, according to the St. Landry Parish Sheriff’s Office.

Joshua Miller, 27, of New Roads, picked up what he thought was an unloaded handgun and fatally shot his younger brother, 25-year-old Jeremiah Miller, of Ventress, in the chest . . . .