Gunnuttery category archive

Children, be polite to your parents.

When police responded to the scene, they found Jade Sympton, 22, suffering from a non-life non-life threatening gunshot wound to her left foot.

Sympton said she was injured by an unsecured firearm that her three-year-old son gained access to and accidentally fired.

To be safe, always check to see if the gun is loaded.

Police say Cooper had been drinking beer. At one point during the gathering, he retrieved a handgun.

Cooper’s friends told investigators that after he removed the magazine from the gun, he asked if there was still a round in the chamber.

Cooper then raised the gun to his head and pulled the trigger, discharging a round.

Guns + beer + stupid = politeness.

Always be polite at the wedding reception.

At least four people were injured, none seriously, when a gun accidentally discharged during a wedding reception Saturday night at the Waldorf Astoria hotel in midtown Manhattan, police said.

A guest at the reception had a gun in his pocket that went off, a police source said. Manhattan Chief of Detectives William Aubry said the incident happened about 7:30 p.m., half an hour after the reception began on the first floor of the famed hotel.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

The stupid. It burns.

Aside:

I’ve been in smoking rooms in the Atlanta airport. That is pretty much what they look like.

Via Balloon Juice.

Politeness is a family affair.

Authorities announced the arrest of a man in connection with the fatal shooting of his 7-year-old son in San Bernardino County Thursday.

The Adelanto boy’s death is being called an accident, but his father, Julio Cervantes Sr., was arrested Friday on suspicion of involuntary manslaughter, according to the San Bernardino County Sheriff’s Department.

Politeness must start at a young age.

Five children were inside the house in the 4300 block of Egyptian Cove when the gun went off just before 7 p.m.

The boy’s father told deputies he was outside working in the yard when he heard a gun go off. He ran into the house and called 911 as soon as he saw his injured son.

“Apparently, a 4-year-old had found a gun in the house and picked it up and inadvertently shot himself. He has since died,” SCSO spokesman Chip Washington said.

Be polite to those who help you at the politeness place.

It all started when a customer entered the building (a firearms emporium–ed.) with a loaded gun.

“After the customer handed the gun over to store employees, the gun discharged,” says Sergeant Beard of the Abilene Police Department.

It only fired once, hitting one employee through the hand and the other in the abdomen.

“The customer feels absolutely terrible about it,” says Cowen.

Politeness takes practice.

In an online dispatch, troopers wrote they received a report that Samson Mullenax was injured by a gun at a gravel pit off Brown Mountain Road, in Ketchikan.

Trooper spokesperson Megan Peters said the pit is often used as a shooting range, and at the time Mullenax was shot he was with about six people who had gone to the area to shoot.

“The weapon was being handled by a person in the group and it discharged,”Peters said.

Politeness sometimes requires adjustments.

Police said Shultz and a relative were at the flood dam area of Searsburg for an overnight camping trip. Shultz had attempted to adjust his belt, which was holding a holstered Ruger .22.”

As the victim altered the placement of his belt, he accidentally squeezed the trigger causing one round to exit the gun and enter into his leg,” police wrote in a press release.

When stupid meets gunnuttery, the results are seldom pretty, but always predictable. At least reports did not imply that this gun fired itself.

I grew up with guns. I have handled guns since my youth. No gun fires itself.

News stories that say, “the gun fired” or “the gun discharged,” as if a gun fired all on its ownsome, embody intellectual dishonesty of the highest order. Those who pen such stories know not shame.

Politeness is a family affair.

She (the lady of the house, as the saying used to go–ed.) told investigators they were sleeping when they heard a noise in the house.

She reported that her husband had armed himself with a gun and went into the kitchen to investigate, and shot somebody whom he thought was an intruder.

He then recognized the 17-year-old victim as his brother.

The kid didn’t make it.

. . . and another day in NRA Paradise.

Scatter politeness where you may,
so that others may find it as they play.

The investigation showed that a boy, 8, identified as C.G. in the trooper report, was playing with his cousins in the yard. The kids went into a nearby shed where they obtained a loaded firearm from the rafters, according to the trooper dispatch.

“One of the children then shot C.G. with the firearm, not realizing that the firearm was real or loaded,” troopers said.

Play politely . . .

According to officers, four teens, including the boy who was shot and killed, were inside an apartment that was attached to a home on Leeland Street near Hughes Street in southeast Houston.

“It appears that they were playing with a handgun,” said Michael Arrington with the Houston Police Department’s Homicide Division.

At some point, that handgun fired, hitting one of the teenagers.

. . . and another gun that fired itself.

Be polite when you go potty.

Yates said the 50-year-old man had a small .380 Derringer-type pistol in his pants pocket, and the gun accidentally went off while the man was in the restroom.

The bullet hit the man in the calf and, according to Yates, the injury did not appear to be life threatening.

Politeness builds strong families.

Sunday’s shooting of a 14-year-old boy, who suffered a gunshot wound to the neck/jaw area in rural Aitkin, is believed to be accidental, the Aitkin County Sheriff’s Office reported.

The sheriff’s office said Dawson Vanportfliet was shot while his father, Dennis Vanportfliet, 37, was handling* his .40 caliber Sig Sauer pistol.

_____________________

*Methinks that “fondling” was misplet.

Be polite to squirrels.

An 81-year-old Franklin man died Saturday after he accidentally shot himself while preparing to hunt squirrels, according to Izard County Sheriff Tate Lawrence. . . .

Deputies were called to the home by Wanda May Bible, who told authorities her husband, who used a walker for enhanced mobility, asked for her help exiting their home. As she approached to help her husband, the gun in his right hand discharged with the bullet fatally striking the man.

Let the politeness proliferate.

The child was shot around 1 p.m. at a home on Carnation Circle, said Horry County Police Lt. Raul Denis. Investigators believe the child found a gun in a dresser drawer and accidentally fired the weapon. Denis said police do not expect to charge anyone in the child’s case.

The second shooting happened a few hours later outside the rear entrance of Grand Strand Medical Center. Late Saturday, police were still piecing together how the situation unfolded, but they said family members began arguing and one person was shot. The victim wasn’t identified.

And, in more news of the polite.

Just another happy home in NRA Eden.

No safe harbor . . . .

A husband and wife were injured Thursday after losing control of a gun while placing it into a new safe.

The 15-year-old boy was shot in the abdomen with a small-caliber handgun shortly before 6 p.m. in the 200 block of Cedar Street, according to Sgt. Charlie Spruill. The boy was taken to a hospital, where he is undergoing surgery and is listed in stable condition, Spruill said. . . .

The father appears to have been examining the gun, which was legally owned, to determine if it was in working order when it accidentally discharged, Spruill said. No arrest has been made as of this evening.

I guess it worked.

Politeness must start young.

Police say the (two-year-old–ed.) boy was alone in a bedroom when he found a loaded handgun on top of a dresser and accidentally fired the weapon. The boy and his parents were visiting the residence.

Just one of those things, one of those crazy things in NRA Paradise.

Test for politeness.

Miguel Martinez, 19, was hanging out with his friends last week in a Fair Oaks park when one of his companions fatally shot him, hoping to test out the reliability of a bulletproof vest, the victim’s brother said Tuesday.