Gunnuttery category archive

Driven to politeness.

A turkey at a turkey shoot.

At approximately 8:20 p.m. on Nov. 21, a 911 call alerted authorities to a shooting incident at 310 Cummings Road in Robbins. According to Chief Deputy Richard Maness, a shotgun was bumped from where it had been balanced on a railing. The gun fell and discharged bird shot.

“It was completely accidental,” said Maness.

No. It was not “completely accidental.”

Five persons were injured, one seriously, because a practitioner of politeness precariously positioned his politeness pole in a negligent manner.

Demonstrate politeness while in the TSA screening line.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Addendum:

PoliticalProf has a comment.

Ten-four, good buddy.

Demonstrate politeness whilst traversing the nation’s thoroughfares.

We are a failed state.

The hunt for politeness continues apace.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Expose children to politeness at an early age.

Yet another random act of politeness . . . .

Nilo was getting close to home, about a half-mile away, when she felt a sharp pain in her hip. She looked down, finding a hole in her clothes. Then she saw the blood.

Nilo knew she had been shot.

(snip)

Nilo, 26, was shot in what officials believe was a random shooting . . . .

Practice random acts of politeness.

Prince George’s County (Maryland–ed.) police are looking for the suspect or suspects responsible after a 14-year-old boy was struck by a stray bullet Thursday night while he was in his bedroom playing video games.

How stupid do you have to be not to ensure a gun is unloaded before you clean it?

Aside:

As I have pointed out before, I think that, in many incidents of this nature, “clean” serves as a synonym for “fondle.”

Politeness takes practice.

A South Carolina sheriff’s office is investigating after two children were shot by a family member.

According to the Greenville County Sheriff’s Office, the family member was doing target practice Sunday when the kids were hit.

Investigators say it appears to have been an accidental discharge.

Afterthought:

There is no such thing as an “accidental discharge” of a firearm.

There are only two kinds of firearms discharges: intentional and negligent.

Yet again, politeness becomes child’s play.

And thus passeth another day in NRA Eden.

One more time, “accidentally” and “negligently” are not synonyms.

Show politeness to your employees.

Investigators in Berkeley County say an employee at a gun store was fatally shot in the face after the store owner mistook a real gun for a BB gun.

Yet more politeness at the altar to acquisition.

According to police, the suspect took his mom’s gun from her vehicle and stuck it in his pants. The gun reportedly discharged in the parking lot in front of the Macy’s store and injured the teen in the leg. Nobody else was hurt in the incident.

Show your politeness to others.

The shooting happened at the Whataburger on Autry Pond around 3 a.m.

Officers say the victim was showing off a gun to a woman in the drive-thru of the restaurant. The woman was handling the gun when it went off and hit the man in the arm, police said.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Politeness proliferates in celebration of All Hallows’ Eve.

Demonstrate politeness when patronizing your local shrine to conspicuous consumption.

Greenwood Assistant Chief of Police Matthew Fillenwarth told 13News that a man was handling a gun in front of Pac Sun, one of the stores inside the mall, and it accidentally went off.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.