C’est Rire category archive

Ellen Warren rounds up horror stories in the Chicago Trib. A nugget:

Laura Vessey, of Plainsboro, N.J., will never forget the year she got a beautiful leather handbag from a dear friend who had purchased it on a trip out west.

“As I was ooohing and ahhhing over the gift,” Vessey recalls, “I opened it up and found she had stored her dirty underwear and socks from the trip in my new bag.”

You’ve heard of the 30 Years War? Here’s 23 years of Fruitcake War.

Then there was the year that Joan brought the cake, still in its sealed box, to the local Star Market and asked the baker if he’d cover it with foil and frosting and disguise it as a Christmas cake. “They put a Santa Claus and a sleigh on it,’’ Joan said yesterday. When Jeanne cut into it at her open house, the knife nearly broke in pieces, everyone yelling, ‘Gotcha!’’’

Read the whole thing. It contains more than one smile.

“The nurse was checking my ear and said, ‘Do you use Q-Tips?'” Wright said. “I said yes, and she said, ‘you’ve got one in your right ear, I’ll get it out.’ She tried getting it and then she was like, ‘Whoa, this is hard. This is not a Q-Tip. Looks like you got a pearl in your ear.'”

Next up: peas, nose.

I wonder whether you can still buy this stuff.

Erzinger’s attorneys say their client suffers from sleep apnea and fell asleep at the wheel before driving off U.S. Highway 6 and onto the shoulder near Miller Ranch Road, hitting Milo, who sustained injuries, from behind.

Erzinger had purchased the car about a month before the accident. Accident reconstructionist John Koziol found in his investigation the sedan was emitting new car fumes, court documents said. It might have been a contributing factor, documents said.

Via The Political Cat.

Comically Vintage answers.

The Chicago Tribune reminds the gullible that there was no Otto Titzling and offers up other tidbits about the history of underwear.

From the San Jose Mercury-News:

The 9-year-old reindeer, which doesn’t have a name, was on the lam for 2½ hours Thursday, scampering through busy Santa Maria streets, strawberry fields and residential areas.

Rancher Bob Acquistapace, riding a horse and wearing a cowboy hat, boots and spurs, finally got a rope over the reindeer’s head at about noon and tied the exhausted animal to a lamppost. The reindeer was eventually loaded into a trailer.

Lip synced commercial for Norwegian television, or “oh,my, how some of them have changed”:

World’s Biggest Stars Lip Dub Let It Be – watch more funny videos

Details here.

December 5, 2010 | Posted by: Frank | Posted in: C'est Rire | Bookmark this post

. . . of bad luck:

The news just kept getting worse for bride-to-be Melissa Conley.

Over the course of three days, a bridal shop lost her bridesmaid dresses, the restaurant hosting the rehearsal dinner closed, and her two wedding dresses were destroyed in a fire. All of it happened less than three weeks before her Dec. 4 nuptials.

Things ultimately got sorted out. Details at the link.

In a completely unrelated story but eerily coincidental story, Jude Rogers comments on the wedding industrial complex. A nugget:

Narcissism and competition are the nuts and bolts of this world, taken to terrifying extremes for the purpose of entertainment.

(snip list of over the top nouveau riche celebutard weddings)

After them, the industry boomed. Now, getting married is an orgy of capitalism, consumption and PR. How does a bride sell herself best? How is her day of joy marketed? Don’t have a hen night, have a hen week. Brand your wedding with “the romance of Ancient Rome”, rather than “I want to spend my life with this nice bloke”.

Thanksgiving gathering guidelines from Helen Philpot. My favorite:

The digital era has made it too easy to take way too many useless pictures.

Honestly, persons fill up their hard drives with digital pictures that they will never look at again. The point of taking lots of pictures is to find one good one, not to keep them all.

Read the rest at the link.

“. . . them’s rustlers!”

Speaking of Wild Bill, “aces and eights” was a clue in Sunday’s crossword.

’nuff said:

A man was jailed after he allegedly went into a South Richmond convenience store last night and began destroying merchandise and fighting with employees, who subdued him and locked him in a cooler.

One hopes that this will do for the Twilight series what Airplane did to the Airport series:

Via Kung Fu Monkey.

To borrow a term from Gene Weingarten:

The leading tackler for East Carolina’s football team is Dustin Lineback. Yes, he’s a linebacker. He’d have to be, wouldn’t he?

In the San Jose Mercury-News, Tony Hicks rails about San Franncisco’s ban on Happy Meals (more specifically, a ban on including toys in meals for kids to make for the lack of real food unless the meal meets certain nutritional requirements).

(Aside: I think the ban is silly and stupid, just as Happy Meals.)

The headline:

S.F.’s ban on Happy Meal toys strikes at the heart of America

Ahem.

So, for that matter, does a Happy Meal.

Swunger, n., Someone who once participated in “The Lifestyle” but no longer does.

Gene Weingarten, that is.

. . . in the Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year awards.

He’s vying to be on the show:

When Harold’s Restaurant owner Harold Owens opened for business Saturday morning, he found something unexpected: a man trapped in the restaurant’s exhaust duct.

At first he thought the noise was from someone on the roof, and the kitchen’s fire suppression system was set off.

“We saw someone’s feet and legs were dangling from the hood system,” Owens said, referring to the ductwork over the stove. The man ended up spending about eight hours trapped in the exhaust vent of the business in the 4400 block of Virginia Beach Blvd., Battalion Chief Ken Pravetz said.

Lather, rinse, remand:

A man visiting the (Santa Cruz–ed.) police station with his two small children entered the bathroom and saw the naked man standing in front of the sink. After it was reported to police, an officer asked the naked man what he was doing.

The man replied, “I’m taking a bath,” police said.