C’est Rire category archive

El Reg has the results of the forensic analysis.

You can check in out any time you like, but you can never leave.

Whatever you say about someone, just don’t let it be heard:

Michele Threlkeld often checks her Facebook page to keep up with her friends’ lives and share news about her own.

“I use it probably every day, just to stay connected with friends from high school and friends of my kids’ friends and things like that,” Threlkeld told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

But the 39-year-old bus driver had no idea she was risking her job with Buford City Schools when she posted a link to a local newspaper article in March. Threlkeld was shocked when administrators fired her on the last day of the 2009-10 school year — an act she believes was in retaliation for the Facebook post.

The school district claims she was fired for “unprofessional conduct” and promise to fight the suit.

Read more »

I know how to fix this:

Guests at a new hotel in Las Vegas have complained of receiving severe burns from a ‘death ray’ of sunlight caused by the unique design of the building.

Due to the concave shape of the Vdara hotel, the strong Nevada sun reflects off its all-glass front and directly onto sections of the swimming pool area below.

The result has left some guests with burns from the powerful rays and even plastic bags have been recorded as melting in the heat.

Remember that creepy Southwestern Bell Cingular AT&T commercial?

September 30, 2010 | Posted by: Frank | Posted in: C'est Rire | Bookmark this post

I was returning to my truck after a bit of shopping when a guy walked up to the car next to me.

He looked at my bumper stickers.

With a sour look, he said, “Phillies, eh?”

I said, “Note this: They’ve gone all season without a single player being arrested.”

He lost the sour look.

Feeding off bridezillas:

In a plea bargain, prosecutors will ask a federal court judge to sentence Karen M. Tucker to a term of 36 to 57 months in prison for defrauding advertisers and bridal vendors into thinking they were paying into a bridal expo at the Hynes Veterans Memorial Convention Center, US Attorney Carmen M. Ortiz said in a statement yesterday.

According to prosecutors, Tucker, 47, pretended to be a company called “The Boston 411,’’ which was booking the convention center for a bridal expo in March.

More here.

Someone had to say it.

. . . because wood is heavier and more difficult to cart away:

Parents arrived at Whitman Park in Camden last week to discover that half the 12-foot-long aluminum bleachers had been stolen.

A day or so later, the rest were gone.

Likely stolen to be sold as scrap.

Via Mr. Feastingonroadkill.

Ear bud withdrawal:

Students at Natick High School are protesting a new policy this year that bans iPods and other electronic devices in all academic areas of the school, including study halls and classrooms.

A student claims that

“They’re a legitimate study tool when you’re trying to tune out the background noise of people talking and conversation flying by and just focus on the work that you’re doing right now,” . . .

Yeah.

Right.

. . . or merely as the “bull” defense?

A Kentucky man accused of strangling his wife is expected to claim excessive caffeine from sodas, energy drinks and diet pills left him so mentally unstable he couldn’t have knowingly killed his wife.

An Athens (Georgia–ed.) man wanted a parking spot badly enough to hit two people with his car to get it, police said.

Ross Campbell, of Statham, was standing in a parking spot holding his 3-year-old son when Richard Junkins pulled up in a Ford Mustang, Athens-Clarke County police said Sunday.

Unexplained is why the victim was standing in the parking place to begin with.

Announcer describing football play:

He covered his backside gap and advanced up the field . . .

.

I doubt this would work at a public school; no place to park:

Roby Burch’s predawn ride to school takes him on a winding route through quiet streets with silhouetted mansions. Bicyclists with blinking lights turn their heads, startled at the sight; drivers slow down for a better look; and some people come out of their houses to take his picture.

It’s not often you see a kid riding his horse to school on the Main Line.

Now he’s back in again:

A 50-pound brown-and-tan tortoise named Roger reported missing from the Greenbank Aquarium near Prices Corner was found late Monday, blocks from home.

Roger, an African sulcata, was last seen by pet store employees about 2 p.m. Friday, sitting on a patch of grass outside the store in the 100 block of Greenbank Road, where he was chomping on grass.

Follow the link for pictures

From the BBC:

A naturist is claiming a council has breached his human rights after it approved plans for houses overlooking his garden.

Leslie Howard, 70, put up fencing around his home in the West Yorkshire village of Steeton so he could tend to his garden in the nude.

But he now fears people will be able to see him from the houses, and is worried he could be arrested.

There is so much that could be said about this.

My first reaction is, “Just leave the poor man be. It’s a body. Everyone has one.”

In honor of the holiday, on both sides of the big pond.