C’est Rire category archive

Emus:

The first of two escaped emus was caught and transported to its new home, but another, thought to be the captured emu’s mate, is believed to still be wondering in a neighborhood behind King’s Fork High School.

(snip)

“My cat has been having fun,” said Nancy Conklin, who lives in the neighborhood. “We have screened porches and he watches the bird. He knew it was a big bird. He crouched up the screen like he was stalking something and his tail got as big as a bottle brush. He runs from window to window to watch it.”

Philly drivers hit the exhilerator today:

• Car runs into fire hydrant (great pictures at the link).
• Truck runs into horse and buggy.
• Car wants to be nearer my God to Thee.
• Philly police make car disappear.

Except it’s backwards day.

He was bugged:

The Charles County (Maryland–ed.) sheriff’s office says a teenager has been arrested after breaking into his school and releasing dozens crickets as part of a senior prank.

Aside:

I would never choose to have lawn sprinklers. They just encourage the grass to need cutting.

Let the grass live free! Brown it, don’t drown it!

That’s my motto.

But I’m not my condo association and this isn’t Phoenix. There is water water everywhere in these parts.

The driver of the chicken truck was ticketed for saturating with fat.

Northbound U.S. 13 was closed for seven hours in Kent County after a tractor-trailer hauling frozen chicken rammed a tank truck, spilling 1,500 gallons of grease and crashing into three other vehicles, police said.

To quote the FIresign Theatre, “Yes, the future is a lot like having bees live in your head.”

Bumblebees’ distinctive bright yellow and black stripes may not be what keeps them safe from their enemies, scientists say.

A UK study has shown that other aspects of bees’ behaviour may matter more than the classic bee colour to keep predators away.

This could be the way bumblebees fly or perhaps the buzzing sound they make, say the scientists.

The results of the study were published in the Journal of Zoology.

Scientists have long believed that once flying predators get stung by a bee, they remember their experience and in the future rely strongly on colour cues to identify their prey.

I once had a bumblebee chase me from the barn to the back door of the house after I accidently stepped on it. Vindictive little bug(gers).

The BBC:

A court in Switzerland has upheld the appeal of a man who was fined for rambling naked.

The court in Trogen ruled that the naked hiking did not amount to “indecent behaviour”.

(snip)

The case was the first since the eastern Swiss canton of Appenzell allowed naked hikers to be fined.

My land line number must be close to that of some local radio station.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a voicemail from a lady expressing the hope that she was “caller number three.”

Tonight I got a voicemail from a lady who “wanted to go on the air about this ticket” and expressing surprise at encountering an answering machine.

And persons wonder why I don’t answer the phone.

RSS fail.

Sam Allis counts linguistic casualties in the Boston Globe. A nugget:

So I’m saddened to report “unfriend’’ was named Word of the Year in 2009 by the New Oxford American Dictionary. That simply can’t be, you say, until you realize that words make it into dictionaries based on how many people use them. If enough do, they’re suddenly legit. How else could you explain two finalists — “deleb’’ and “tramp stamp’’? “Deleb’’ means “dead celebrity,’’ while “tramp stamp’’ is “a tattoo on the lower back, usually on a woman.’’

A woman who said she was attempting to send a text message while she was driving struck a guardrail and a residence on Holland Road on Wednesday.

She smashed it good. Picture at the link.

Today it came out that Senator Ben Nelson asserts that he doesn’t know how to use an ATM, though he does claim to know how to use a self-serve gas pump.

Brendan has more.

The Guardian has a fascinating article, excerpted from a forthcoming book, on the development of accouterments of life that we take for granted, such as stairs and lawns. Here’s a nugget from the section on toilets:

But early toilets often didn’t work well. Sometimes they backfired, . . . .

The name game, with new rankings:

Biblical babies are always popular — Huffman’s children are Seth and Luke — and many go with popular television shows or movies. The Social Security Administration suggests Isabella rose in popularity thanks in part to the hugely popular “Twilight” series of novels and movies, which feature a protagonist of that name.

But some families just can’t decide on a name for their new bundle of joy before leaving the hospital. Should they choose Samantha (ranked No. 21 statewide last year) or Savannah (23)? Aiden (14) or Ayden (77)?

This is a softball story which has nothing to do with Elena Kagan.

A South Lake Tahoe High School girl’s softball coach has apologized for requiring eight players who struck out during a recent game to drink soda pop out of a team member’s shoe, a school district official said.

The South Tahoe High School varsity players drank the soda at a team slumber party on May 1, hours after a game against Wooster High School of Reno, Nev.

It’s automated now:

Here’s how it works: the car is driven into the garage, which you could easily mistake for a luxurious lobby, then into another garage within it. Once the driver leaves, the car is scanned and then sinks and is shifted, carried, and softly slid into its designated subterranean parking place by a computerized and very complex system.

And if the car’s owner wants to leave, all they have to do is swipe their card in the elevator.

For people too important to walk to their cars.

Gasp. Someone might miss an infomercial.

A TV communications satellite is drifting out of control thousands of miles above the Earth, threatening to wander into another satellite’s orbit and interfere with cable programming across the United States, the satellites’ owners said Tuesday.

So that pick-up lines can be delivered.

From the BBC:

Speech bubbles which could provide the answer for people who want to make their voice heard in noisy pubs and clubs are set to go on display.

Product design student Elaine McLuskey invented the “social spheres” to enable people to hold a conversation above the background noise.

Follow the line for a cone of picture.