C’est Rire category archive

The spirit that conquered the plaintives.

H/T Karen for the link.

Meeting Facebook to Facebook:

A fistfight between two gangs of girls that had been organized on Facebook erupted in gunfire last night outside a Southwest Philadelphia High School, leaving two young men and a 17-year-old girl wounded, police said.

(snip)

“It started with a dispute on Facebook,” said (police Lt.) Walker.

(Virginia) Gov. Bob McDonnell has declared a state of emergency for southern Virginia due to an approaching winter storm.

Inches, actual inches, are possible.

(Yeah, I know, areas that aren’t used to snow aren’t prepared to handle it and shouldn’t be expected to. There is no good reason to stock up on trucks and salt every year for something that happens only every few years or so.

At the same time, this “declaring states of emergency” stuff before there is an emergency seems to be a little silly.)

Afterthought:

Must. Buy. Bread. and. Milk.

All drivers, men and women, young and old, rated themselves over the “average motorist”, especially when this average motorist fell into the over 65 age category.

Young men felt the most superior.

Middle-aged men rated themselves as better than similarly aged drivers, and far superior to younger and older motorists.

Older drivers – aged 65 plus – felt most superior when they compared themselves with motorists of the same age.

One of these clowns nearly speared me Tuesday.

He had the stop sign, but didn’t use it.

Because it is superior to US television programming:

The world’s first film shot entirely by chimpanzees is to be broadcast by the BBC as part of a natural history documentary.

. . . dog bites man is not news?

Just down the road a piece, a city has a novel solution to its sludge problem.

When the sulfate (EPA link) level gets too high in the sludge generated in the water purification process (not the waste treatment process), they add pancake syrup.

To reduce levels of sulfate, city workers had been pouring two to eight gallons of cheap, generic pancake syrup into the appropriate wells as needed, said Chesapeake Public Utilities Director Jim Walski. The city gets the one-gallon jugs by piggybacking on a contract with the Chesapeake Conference Center, officials said.

“It’s not the kind of thing where we run to the grocery store and clean out the shelves,” said A. Craig Maples, Water Resources Management administrator for Chesapeake.

The sugars from the syrup help break down the sulfate, but “I don’t know that we were in agreement with the methodology they were using,” said the DEQ’s (Virginia Department of Environmental Quality–ed.) McConathy.

I’ll never think of IHOP in the same way again.

(I was considering filing this under “Recipes.”)

No.

Read more »

Strangeness:

Police first publicized a rash of burglaries, most targeting University of Delaware students, on Thursday. All victims reported break-ins during which the intruder stole only men’s shoes along with photographs of the men. All of the incidents occurred over Christmas break when students were away, Henry said.

They failed to gear up for the heist:

In an apparently ill-conceived caper, several men briefly hijacked a FedEx van yesterday afternoon and tried to navigate it through rush-hour traffic in Center City before abandoning the easily recognizable vehicle and fleeing.

The plan – if there was a plan – did not include an accomplice who could drive a manual transmission, police said.

LOL = “Lunch on lifeguard”

Unfortunately not all sharks have people teeth, which is why scientists in Western Australia have tagged over 70 great white sharks with satellite-tracking darts designed to send out a text message when one of the predators swims within 500 meters of metropolitan beaches.

Via Wait! Wait!

If there’s a second car, is it the “REANIM8OR“?

It’s a motorcycle with a roof and rollover capability. My old neighbor had a Harley that was more luxurious, except for the rollover thing.

All seriousness aside, this will have little utility except for those who must have a commuting vehicle and who do not have access to reasonable public transportation.

In the United States (where it is not yet slated to be sold), that’s actually a heck of a lot of persons. After having lived in the Greater Philadelphia Co-Prosperity Sphere (where people love to bitch about SEPTA and couldn’t survive without it), I can say that public transportation in the Hampton Roads, Virginia, area, is, by comparison, a rare and mystical thing.

Even so, I would hesitate to take this thing on a road filled with drivers of Ford Fortresses, Chevrolet Crushers, Dodge Destroyers, and Toyota Titanics, who have chips on their shoulders from checking their gas bills.

H/T Susan for the link.

Take that, homeowners associations.

A Maryland state delegate says going green includes letting your clothes fly in the breeze.

Frederick County Democrat Galen Clagett says he will reintroduce a bill in the 2010 General Assembly to prohibit homeowners associations from banning the use of clotheslines.

Or not. The bill died in committee last year.

All joking aside, not allowing persons to hang out laundry in their backyards is a profoundly stupid thing.

Beard? Check.

Sack? Check.

Gun? Check.

Nashville cops are hunting a rogue Saint Nick who on Tuesday robbed a SunTrust Bank because “Santa needed to pay his elves”, as the perp explained to staff.

The assailant was scooped up by the law.

A woman was severely beaten during an argument over spilled ice cream late Tuesday night.

We always gave cookies:

Kathleen Messick, who teaches English as a second language in the Cape Henlopen School District, taught kindergarten years ago at Millsboro Elementary School when a girl gave her a red-and-black lace negligee (remember, kindergarten–ed.).

The slinky nightwear was a bit too much for her tastes, she said, and she never wore it.

There’s more.

If you want to look at half-clothed women, that’s fine with me.

But don’t pretend it has anything to do with athletic prowess.

Give me an honest lech over a hypocrite any day of the week and twice on Sunday–especially twice on Sunday.

Tiger Woods, according to the AP.

The choice of the Las Vegas Showgirls Union is still being awaited.