Words Fail Me category archive

Junkyard seadogs.

. . . for the past several years, according to internal emails obtained by The Virginian-Pilot, the U.S. Navy has been negotiating to acquire Japan’s retired fleet of MH-53E Sea Dragons. The Navy wants to harvest the old helicopters for parts to help keep its own Sea Dragons flying until 2025.

Steel-plated self indulgence.

Billionaire Microsoft co-founder and Seattle Seahawks owner Paul Allen apparently doesn’t get everything he wants – at least not yet.

A Soviet Scud surface-to-surface missile was a no-problem purchase for him at $349,000. A rusty and inoperable Cold War-era M55 self-propelled howitzer was a comparable bargain at $45,000.

But when it came to an authentic Panzer IV, a World War II-era German tank, Allen, an avid collector of historical military planes and other equipment, has had to go to court in Redwood City, even after paying $2.5 million for it.

Oh my.

Organizers of a 5k race that encourages women runners to dress like schoolgirls say they have canceled a race in Raleigh.

Sexy Schoolgirl race organizers told city officials on Thursday they were canceling the race, in part because of the “community controversy” it had created.

One cannot imagine how trading on fantasies of pedophilia could possibly cause “community controversy,” now, really, can one?

Men are indeed pigs.

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The Conservative Mind, as portrayed by Jonah Goldberg:

I supported the war, and I still think the arguments in favor at the time were superior to the arguments against. Alas, the facts on the ground didn’t care about the arguments.

No self-awareness, no self-awareness whatsoever.

Via Kos.

With apologies to the blog of the same name, this is the real-life lawyers, guns, and money.

According to cops, Frances Thomas, 33, was spotted by a store employee placing the Good Book in her purse while she was inside the Spartanburg store. Thomas, seen above, also allegedly pinched some cheese and socks.

The non-profit where my friend works has a library. One of the librarians there once told my friend that the library must replace more Bibles than any other book, because it was the most stolen book.

Entitled twits.

From the people who gave you the NSA.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, you can’t make this stuff up. The chutzpah staggers one.

Remember, when you point your finger, all four other fingers point back at you.

Our “intelligence community” is an oxymoron (emphasis on “moron”).

. . . when they are packing.

Addendum:

Today’s local rag has another story about big men being big.

And when Jeff Peacock and his two sons went to check on their pets (goats–ed.) Monday morning at a farm in rural Suffolk, they were all dead.

“I don’t understand,” said Peacock, owner of Farmer Frank’s Farm Market. “They were in a pen. What could they have done to deserve this?”

Peacock – a sergeant first class with the Army Reserve – said the goats appeared to have been shot in the head Saturday night, after he last checked on them.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Probation for posting.

I’ve been on a few trail rides. Most were on Quarter Horses and one was on a Tennessee Walking Horse. The most spectacular one was in Bryce Canyon National Park; we were on the plateau north of the canyon itself and could see the Yellowstone highlands off to the south.

I considered my trail rides successes, as I did not fall off the horses, not even once.

Never, though, did the wrangler need for me to saddle up on a Clydesdale.

Via my local rag, print edition.

Emphasis added:

Culpepper was arrested because she had the same first name as another woman wanted by authorities in an aggravated assault case, even though Culpepper provided officers with her driver’s license that showed she did not have the same name and was not the same age as the real suspect. She also did not have a gold tooth that police were told the real suspect had.

She called to report that her truck had been stolen and spent fifty-three days in jail awaiting trial; her suit was dismissed because the police have immunity.

No brains, just immunity.

Afterthought:

I cannot keep myself from thinking that the cops just rounded up the first black lady named “Teresa” that they saw.

After all, this happened in Georgia, where they all look alike.

Pah!

Random meanness.

Andrew Smith sure wants to know. Early Monday morning, just past 1, he heard a loud racket outside his apartment in San Francisco’s Bernal Heights, and thought nothing of it. But when a neighbor knocked on his door and told him, you-gotta-see-this: His wife’s 2009 Smart Car — all 1,808 pounds of it — was sitting on its roof.

(snip)

San Francisco was abuzz over the trail of teeny-tiny two-seaters that turned up turned on their sides — and a fourth propped up on its rear end — in two sections of the city.

Speaking of mean for the sake of mean . . .

It’s all about who you know.