Words Fail Me category archive

We get goose jams around here all the time; duck jams, not so much.

I’ve never seen anyone do this.

Witnesses told police that “all vehicular traffic stopped” when the ducks began crossing the street, according to a Myrtle Beach Police Department report. But then Robert Allen Willard, driving a BMW coupe, allegedly “intentionally sped up and hit the mother duck and several ducklings.”

The most powerful argument against religion is those who call themselves religious.

I wonder what they would have done to her if she had put Mentos into a Diet Coke.

A Florida teen with an exemplary record is facing federal charges after conducting what a classmate calls “a science project gone bad.”

16-year-old Kiera Wilmot is accused of mixing housing chemicals in a small water bottle at Bartow High School, causing the cap to fly off and produce a bit of smoke. The experiment was conducted outdoors, no property was damaged, and no one was injured.

Not long after Wilmot’s experiment, authorities arrested her and charged her with “possession/discharge of a weapon on school property and discharging a destructive device,” according to WTSP-TV. The school district proceeded to expel Wilmot for handling the “dangerous weapon,” also known as a water bottle. She will have to complete her high school education through an expulsion program.

I am certain that the fact the girl is black has nothing whatsoever to do with this. Nothing at all.

Via Chauncey Devega, who adds excellent commentary.

Read more »

Public Shaming has more.

We are doomed.

Neil Izenberg argues that modern kitchens are making us fat by making eating too fun and convenient. A nugget.

Many of the safety issues of yesterday’s kitchens are gone. No one in my family is likely to tumble into an open hearth. But new kitchens pose a more subtle danger to our health by doubling as a comfortable social, entertainment and eating hub. Retail marketers have long known that when tempting food is within close range of our eyes or nose, we tend to eat more of it. In our new kitchens, it’s just too darn easy to get to addictive snacks and calorie-rich drinks.

Move the kitchen back outside to a separate building where God intended!

Better yet, fire circles, like the good old days or let’s just gather nuts and berries.

An accused hit-and-run driver who injured a school crossing guard explains:

Baruchman, 20, told police he was driving fast down the road because he had to make it to his graduation from DUI school, according to the Cherokee County Sheriff’s Office.

Oh, my.

Workers tasked with emptying a Central Texas home set for foreclosure instead dragged away a 16-foot boat, a backhoe, wedding dress and love letters from a neighbor’s barn.

The company, Ohio-based Safeguard Properties, acknowledged the mistake that occurred in broad daylight in December, but has yet to tell Mike and Janine Moors what happened to about $150,000 in possessions including family heirlooms and keepsakes.

(snip)

The Williamson County Sheriff’s office, where the couple filed a report, agreed that while the situation wasn’t right, it wasn’t a crime. A detective told them it happens all the time.

Police continue to investigate fatal Friendship shooting.

Really.

It happened in Friendship, Pa.

Some persons are not cut out for a life of crime.

Then police got to work. They noticed fresh tracks from an ATV. They also saw tire tracks from a boat trailer.

They followed the tracks out of the yard. The tracks ran through woods and directly onto another property on Dorset Avenue.

There, they found the stolen boats . . . .

It reminds me of the case back in Delaware some years ago when someone knocked over a convenience store.

The cops followed his footprints in the snow right to his place.

(I just did a web search for “robber tracked in snow.” It’s more common than one would think.)

A massive spill at a Chivas plant has sent the smell of spirits flowing through a Scottish sewer and sorrow coursing through the hearts of Scotch whisky fans.

I weep.

Romance is zucked.

Bang With Friends is a controversial app that, as the name implies, is supposed to be no-nonsense way to learn which of your friends is interested in having sex. The app’s logo and introductory screen shot leave no doubt about its intent.

Since launching on Jan. 23, the app has “already hooked up over 100,000 couples,” according to an e-mail from the three California college students who created the app.

Tumblr is a very strange internet place.

And it was on the ground floor.

And wanton, casual cruelty.

(Clemson student Nathan–ed.) Weaver put a realistic rubber turtle in the middle of a lane on a busy road near campus. Then he got out of the way and watched over the next hour as seven drivers swerved and deliberately ran over the animal. Several more apparently tried to hit it but missed.

(snip)

Sometimes humans feel a need to prove they are the dominant species on this planet by taking a 2-ton metal vehicle and squishing a defenseless creature under the tires, said Hal Herzog, a Western Carolina University psychology professor.

“They aren’t thinking, really. It is not something people think about. It just seems fun at the time,” Herzog said. “It is the dark side of human nature.”

Not nice people

Too stupid for words.

Tourists flocking to Guatemala for “end of the world” parties have damaged an ancient stone temple at Tikal, the largest archeological site and urban center of the Mayan civilization.

“Sadly, many tourists climbed Temple II and caused damage,” said Osvaldo Gomez, a technical adviser at the site, which is located some 550 kilometers (340 miles) north of Guatemala City.

I somehow think that Justin Timberlake was not in mind when this law was passed.

In a unanimous decision Thursday, the (Florida State Supreme–ed.) court struck down a state law regulating noise from car stereos in a case spearheaded by a St. Petersburg lawyer who received a citation in 2007 for blaring a Justin Timberlake song in his car.

The lawyer, Richard Catalano, 51, challenged the citation and courts repeatedly sided with him. But the state kept appealing.

The final declaration came Thursday, with the high court ruling that the statute is unconstitutional because it prohibits certain forms of speech while permitting others.

Boogieing down with Justin Timberlake.

Oh, my.

Beyond creepy.

The day after authorities charged a South Jersey Catholic school’s custodian with being a high-tech Peeping Tom, parents expressed anger as they began to find out their children were among those secretly videotaped in private areas of the school.

He installed secret cameras in what were supposed to be secret places.

This dude put a lot of effort into being a perv.

Stuff one, stuffing zero.

WAVY.com spoke with a family who even took shifts eating dinner so their spots would not be lost in line.

“I fixed the turkey earlier, and then after me and my daughter ate, then I came to pick up my son so he could eat with his dad, and then we came and sat in the line,” said Amy Gagliardi, who waited in line at Best Buy in Chesapeake.