Words Fail Me category archive

Broken bats.

He (Phillies pitcher Roy Halladay) needed some luck and got none. Dan Uggla and Eric Hinske both reached on back-to-back, broken-bat singles to put runners on first and third with no outs in the fourth.

Andy Borowitz (full report at the link):

After seizing an enormous cache of porn from his compound in Pakistan, the CIA said today that it now has a new theory about fallen al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden.

“It’s clear that Osama bin Laden acted alone,” said CIA director Leon Panetta. “And he spent most of his waking hours doing just that.”

I fail to understand the fuss.

A porn stach stash is normal; it’s mass murder that is not.

Also, Noz has a thought.

See Glomarization for details.

Ashcroft, ethics, and the con-artists formerly known as Blackwater.

A match made in–well, somewhere.

If you get raped, you’d better keep a receipt.

Field narrates.

Seen at my local apothecary:

Holy moly. Words fail me.

Truly classy, these Republicans. Right out of this week’s episode of CSI: Miami.*

Kansas State Rep. Virgil Peck (R) suggested Monday that the best way to deal with the illegal immigration problem may be the same way the state might deal with the problem of “feral hogs” — by shooting them from a helicopter.

According to the story, he said later, “I was just speaking like a southeast Kansas person.” Says something about southeast Kansas if he’s accurate.

You can hear him be classy at the link.

_____________________

*Yes, I know that CSI: Miami is one of the most over-the-top, melodramatic, poorly acted pieces of science fiction on the telly vision, but it has a certain unapologetic campy flair.

As Glomarization pointed out in a post I linked to yesterday, these people are crazy.

Now, a Missouri Republican wants to repeal Missouri’s child labor laws.

It’s to be expected from folks who think puppy mills are good.

Next up, kiddie mills.

Oh My Gov! reports on Arizona Republican efforts to give their governor a personal army.

Personal armies are usually the domain of Middle Eastern despots and the Emperor from Return of the Jedi. That is, of course, until America’s Fun State gets into the act… naturally, we’re talking (yet again) about Arizona!

Republicans in the Arizona State Senate have recently introduced bill SB 1495 which would establish a “state guard” that can be called upon by the Governor, in this case the beloved Jan Brewer, to provide state security in the event of the federal government calling up the Arizona National Guard or (and this is the fun part) “for any other reason the governor considers to be necessary.”

The bill goes on to specify that the Governor would have the power to establish an “armed force for the safety and protection of the lives and property of the citizens of the state.”

As I recall, some other states tried something like that about a century and a half ago. It didn’t work out so well.

The SCV is keeping company with persons who are not very nice, such as leaders of a terrorist organization, for that is what the Klan was (and, to the extent it still gasps for breath, is).

A fight is brewing in Mississippi over a proposal to issue specialty license plates honoring Confederate Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest, who was an early leader of the Ku Klux Klan.

The Mississippi Division of Sons of Confederate Veterans says it wants to sponsor a series of state-issued license plates to mark the 150th anniversary of what it calls the “War Between the States.” The group proposes a different design each year between now and 2015, with Forrest slated for 2014.

Follow the link to see how the SCV is attempting to rationalize their choice by claiming that Forrest later regretted it (which he likely did).

Afterthought:

His regrets do not erase his deeds.

More to the point, honoring him today carries a message, and it is not a message of tolerance and redemption. The SCV cannot be unaware–is likely quite aware–of the symbolism that honoring one of the founders of the Klan would convey.

Addendum, the Next Day:

My approach to history is more economic and sociological than it is “great man” based (“great men” do live to influence events, but they do so only when social and economic currents provide the opportunity; that is why Christopher Columbus is celebrated and Leif Ericson is a footnote).

Plus, growing up Virginian, my schooling on the Civil War was oriented primarily towards the battles of the Army of Northern Virginia under the leadership of St. Robert E. Lee, with a cursory nod towards the Battle of Vicksburg.

So I did not know until Dennis G. pointed it out at Balloon Juice that Nathan Bedford Forest, adulated hero of the SCV, made his fortune buying and selling human beings for a profit.

Addendum-Dee-Dum-Dum:

He continued in the trade nafter the war. Dennis G. does more research.

This is very strange.

Different cultures do indeed have different customs. (Video report. Print report.)

(Warning: Scatological. May not be to your taste.)

A flock of schlock at Delaware Liberal.

(Be sure to sample the comments.)

From the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

The Senate has approved almost $4.6 billion to settle long-standing claims brought by American Indians and black farmers against the government.

The money has been held up for months in the Senate as Democrats and Republicans squabbled over how to pay for it. The two class action lawsuits were filed over a decade ago.

If these folks had not been not-white, this would have been approved long ago.

My disgust-o-meter is off the chart.

If you see a “cheesesteak” on a menu more than 35 miles from Philadelphia, you can be certain it’s not a true cheesesteak sandwich.

If the menu says, “Philly Cheese Steak,” you can be certain that it’s an abomination that would warrant a kneecapping at 2nd and South.

This is from the menu at one of the nicer restaurants around here:

French Baguette? Pat Oliveri would be insulted. Does “Oliveri” sound French to you?

Bell peppers? They had better not try that at Broad and Passyunk.

(Given the track record of this restaurant, it’s probably quite palatable, but it is not a “Philly Cheesesteak”–maybe a Virginia Beach Frenchie Steak.)

There’s another dive in these parts that actually puts mayonnaise on some vile concoction that they refer to as a “Philly Cheesesteak.” (I worked up the nerve to try that one. I shouldn’t have.)

Words fail me.

Science 2.0 (Scientific Blogging under a new name) reports that the United States has more plastic surgeries (“procedures” if you want to pretend they aren’t “operations”) than any other country.

It does not surprise that the majority are cosmetic. Worldwide rankings of the top procedures are:

For the last ten years, the consensus has been that breast augmentation was the most popular plastic surgery procedure but the ISAPS Global Survey puts liposuction at the top, representing 18.8% of all surgical procedures, followed by breast augmentation at 17%, and blepharoplasty (upper or lower eyelid lift) at 13.5%, rhinoplasty (nose reshaping) at 9.4% and abdominoplasty (Tummy Tuck) at 7.3%.

The popularity of surgical procedures varied by country with Brazil, the United States, China, Mexico, India and Japan the dominant countries for the top five procedures.

(snip)

The top five non surgical procedures are: toxins or neuromodulators injections (Botox, Dysport) (32.7%), hyaluronic acid injections (20.1%), laser hair removal (13.1%), autologous fat injections (taking a patient’s fat from one location and transferring it in the same patient in another location) (5.9%) and IP Laser treatment (4.4%).

Lots of money for not much of anything, if you ask me. Or even if you don’t.

The new radical danger: the Humane Society.

A conservative group in Missouri is picking up the backing of the Tea Party and Joe The Plumber in its quest to stop the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS) and other animal rights groups from passing “radical” anti-puppy mill legislation.

Certainly, protect those puppy mills.

We all need more of puppy mills.

Truth, justice, and the American Way puppy mills.