Gunnuttery category archive

Set an example of politeness to the youth of our nation.

An 11-month-old baby girl was wounded Saturday night in an apparent gun accident in Petaluma, authorities said.

The child was struck by a bullet fragment from a gun fired about 6:15 p.m. at a Reynolds Drive residence, Petaluma Fire Battalion Chief Jeff Schach said.

(snip)

Savano said police have not arrested anyone because at this point it appears the weapon was accidentally discharged inside the house . . . .

Oh, well, the shot came from inside the house, so it’s okay.

Leonard Pitts, Jr., writing about the recent school shooting in South Carolina, reflects on the fundamental break with reality illustrated by the news coverage of violent death in the United States.

Without really meaning to, we’ve evolved a kind of hierarchy of death in which anything that’s called terrorism requires wall-to-wall media coverage, reactions from political candidates and somber acknowledgment from late-night talk show hosts. But a 14-year-old shoots a 6-year-old on a playground, and it’s just an ordinary Wednesday.

Perhaps the most frustrating thing is that that hierarchy has no basis in reality. Last year, PolitiFact tallied the number of Americans killed in this country by terrorism in the 10 preceding years. It came to 71. The number of us killed by guns in that same time frame? 301,797.

In a way, the phenomenon he highlights is natural. Unusual, out-of-the-ordinary events are “news.”

Death by gunnuttery is commonplace and mundane in NRA paradise.

Politeness is a family value.

A father killed his 6-year-old son and 8-year-old daughter before fatally shooting himself at a Beaverton apartment complex, police said Wednesday.

A female relative found the family members inside a unit of the Redwood Creek Apartments at Southwest Windmill Drive and Greenway Boulevard, according to police.

Just another day in NRA Paradise.

Get a load of the politeness.

The shooting happened during a Florida Gun Show event at the east Lee County venue.

The Lee County Sheriff’s Office said that one man was reloading a gun when the weapon discharged. The shot hit the man’s finger and the bullet then wounded the foot of a friend of the gun owner’s standing nearby.

No charges will be filed because hey! stupid happens.

Politeness is the foundation of a successful union.

A top Atlanta lawyer accidentally fired the shot that killed his marketing-executive wife when their car hit a bump in the road, according to family members.

Claud (Tex) McIver took out his gun while riding with his wife, Diane McIver, because they were worried about a possible carjacking when several people walked toward the car, family friend and spokesman Bill Crane told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution on Friday.

The dirty little secret of gunnuttery is that the whole “self defense” thing seldom works out in real life the way it does in John Wayne movies. You don’t get to rehearse and there are no second takes.

Inculcate politeness from a tender age.

Metro Nashville Police responded to the shooting on Blue Hills Drive at 9:30 a.m. They say a 2-year-old who doesn’t live at the residence grabbed a gun from a door pocket of a vehicle that had just driven to the location and fired the gun, hitting a 12-year-old in the hip.

The story goes on to point out that Tennessee has a shot at shot records this year. Follow the link for the numbers.

Get a load of politeness (emphasis added).

A man sustained a gunshot wound that wasn’t considered life-threatening Saturday evening when his gun accidentally discharged as he was unloading it, authorities said. . . . .

The accidental shooting was said to have taken place in the parking lot of Hollywood Theaters, 6200 S.W. 6th Ave.

Why was this ammosexual stroking his piece in a movie theatre parking lot? Had he just watched Tammy Does Topeka or what?

Also, “was said“? Really now, where did it actually take place? Inquiring minds want to know.

Politeness! You can’t handle the politeness!

A University of Iowa master’s student has died in an accidental shooting in western Iowa.

Friends say 24-year-old Megan Sloss was shot inside a car in Sac County on Sunday. The shooting happened when a passenger was handling a handgun that accidentally fired.

Share your politeness.

A woman, 24, reported she was in her bedroom showing a gun she keeps under her pillow to a friend, 26, around midnight at a home on the 500 block of Mulberry Road.

She told police she took the magazine out of the 9mm Canik pistol, put the magazine back in, and as she held the gun in her hand, a bullet fired, Bellingham police Lt. Mike Johnston said.

The round struck the man’s right leg above the ankle.

I have figured out how all these guns fire on their own. As their ammosexual owners caress them, the weapons eventually reach a peak of excitement that makes inevitable a premature–er–discharge.

Afterthought:

Gun nuts refer to this phenomenon as “cleaning my gun.”

Set an example of politeness for your younger siblings.

A 21-year-old from Draper (Utah–ed.) was taken to the hospital Saturday night after being shot in the leg while showing off his new gun.

Sgt. Dan Ko with Draper City Police said around 7:30 p.m. the man was showing off the gun to his little brother in their Draper home near 338 W. Inauguration Rd. in Draper.

Rear your children with politeness.

Police are investigating after a toddler was shot and killed on Monday in Milford Township, Bucks County.

The boy has been identified as 2-year-old Benjamin Austin Smith.

The gunnularity draws closer, as yet another gun mysteriously fires itself . . . .

“I was advised a Ruger LC9s semi automatic 9 mm pistol was lying in the console area of the vehicle as (the man, the child and the grandfather) were sitting in the vehicle,” Hatton said in a report. “At some point, the pistol discharged and passed through the console, striking (the child) in both legs and striking (the father) in the left leg approximately three inches above the knee. The bullet lodged in (the father’s leg).”

(Yeah. Right.)

Get a loan of a politeness at your friendly local hollow-core pawn.

Practice random acts of politeness.

Politeness means that families do things together. For example, they go on spontaneous family outings.

Logan Police Chief Tyson Budge said a 5-year-old boy apparently got hold of a loaded hunting rifle about 8 p.m. Monday. The firearm discharged, the bullet striking the boy’s 13-month-old brother in the foot.

Police said a 911 call reporting a shooting came from residents below the second floor unit of a multi-family apartment building near 500 East and 500 North. The callers told police that soon after the gunshot, two adults ran from the unit above them with a child in their arms.

Cleanliness is next to politeness.

The unidentified 30-year-old father told deputies that he was cleaning his gun about 6:40 p.m. on the family’s porch when it misfired after he sat on it, according to the incident report and Lott.

The bullet that struck the toddlers in the upper body also grazed the father’s hand, according to the report and a news release. The 4-year-old required surgery, but her injuries are not life threatening, Watts said.

One of the children died.

Afterthought:

When I had a rifle, I also had a cleaning kit and cleaned it regularly. As best as I can remember, sitting on the gun was not part of the procedure.

Unloading it first was.

Post-Afterthought:

You do realize all these bozos who claim that they are “cleaning” their guns as they kill innocent bystanders are doing no such thing.

They are fondling them, and cleanliness is the farthest thing from their tiny ammosexual minds.