Gunnuttery category archive

Really, now, what’s the big deal?

He was just hanging around, fondling his piece.

The Inky reviews gun nut logic.

There’s no use passing laws against jaywalking, because some pedestrians will still jaywalk.

There’s no use passing laws against speeding, because motorists will still speed.

There’s no use making it a crime to rape or murder, because victims will still be assaulted.

As dumb as those statements sound, they sum up the view of lawmakers who say there’s no use passing tougher gun laws because criminals will break them.

The NRA.

Be polite in the waiting room:

As Andrew Bonci treated a patient at his Mission chiropractic office Tuesday, a “huge bang” echoed from his waiting room.

Rushing to see what happened, Bonci encountered a 6-year-old girl with a bullet hole in her lower leg and her 14-year-old cousin saying again and again, “I’m sorry.”

A letter writer in yesterday’s local rag made a point about shopping where a fellow shopper was packing heat in the produce aisle:

I grew up around guns. I enjoy target practice. But I was brought up to believe that guns are to be respected, not flaunted. They are not toys. They are not fashion items.

Learn more.

Via The Richmonder.

That is, Packing Teachers’ Association: Michael Feldman imagines the faculty meeting in the new age of faculty with heat.

Winning the race to politeness:

A medical examiner says a man who died in the infield during a NASCAR’s NRA 500 race at Texas Motor Speedway shot himself in the head. The event was the first NRA-branded race in NASCAR’s premier series.

It shall not come as a surprise that a pick-up truck was involved.

Honest to Pete, you can’t make this stuff up.

If you did, no one would believe you.

No doubt he was politely standing his ground parking space (or some such nonsense):

The incident happened just after 5 p.m. in the parking lot of the Collier Commons Plaza at 2121 Collier Parkway. A 75-year-old man shot a 51-year-old man in the shoulder, Pasco Sheriff’s deputies said. The injured man was not in life-threatening condition.

Nothing to see here. As they used to say in the John Wayne movies that gun nuts take so seriously, “only a flesh wound.”

Working towards an “Associate of Politeness” degree, no doubt.

The New River Valley dealt again with the trauma of a school shooting Friday when a gunman opened fire inside a community college satellite campus.

Police on Friday night said they have charged 18-year-old Neil Allan MacInnis as the shooter after two women were wounded at a New River Community College facility.

Welcome to NRA world.

Three shots thunder through white hallways with black-and-yellow signs that read: “Mustang Pride.”

“Help! Somebody help! Someone got shot!” a woman’s voice echoes inside the school.

Behind her, a man’s body lies in an open doorway.

Down the hall, a police officer commands: “Walk to us!”

Another officer walks beside him, pointing her gun.

That scenario, played out inside Hugo A. Owens Middle School in Deep Creek on March 28, was only a drill.

Gun nut paradise approacheth apace.

Cirque de la politesse:

Authorities say a Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus elephant was hit by a bullet in a drive-by shooting in Tupelo, Miss.

Le stupide, il brûle!

A male student went on a stabbing spree at a community college in northwest Houston on Tuesday, injuring at least 14 people, two of them critically, Harris County Sheriff Adrian Garcia said. The campus was sealed off.

Garcia said at a press conference that an emergency call came in at 11:12 a.m. local time: “Male on the loose stabbing people.”

No doubt, had he had a gun, politeness would have restrained his hand and no injuries would have ensued, none whatsoever.

I am quite certain it would have worked out that way.

Oh yes, yes indeedy do.

Read more »

No heat at NRA press stunt.

Daniel Ruth reports:

The only odor to be detected was the wafting of NRA hypocrisy hanging over the room.

Reporters entering the make-believe news conference were subjected to searches; even water bottles were confiscated, which might suggest some very fine vodka could have been discarded. It was the National Press Club, after all.

Still, it does seem a bit odd that the National Rifle Association, the purveyors of Big Fear, which wants everybody to be able to carry a gun anywhere they want, would suddenly go all weak in the knees over the remote possibility that someone attending Hutchinson’s Potemkin Village news conference might be packing heat.

The only threat the assembled scribblers posed to Asa Hutchinson was misspelling his first name with an extra “s”.

A little child shall lead them, politely.

A 4-year-old Toms River, Ocean County, boy shot his 6-year-old neighbor in the head last night with a rifle, police confirmed this morning.

And in other news of the polite,

A cookout in Tennessee ended in tragedy over the weekend when a 3-year-old child accidentally shot and killed the wife of a Wilson County sheriff’s deputy.

As always, Susie Sampson is on the job:

Via Bob Cesca’s Awesome Blog.

Defend yourself, politely.

A 14-year-old Detroit girl says that a neighbor shot and killed JoJo, her 1-year-old Chihuahua, because he wasn’t on a leash and was making too much noise.

The licensed gun owner, however, told police that he gunned down the tiny dog because it was threatening him.

I get that little yippy dogs are annoying, but really.

A voice of sanity:

“Arming the teacher is merely a response to the last tragedy,” said Representative Mike Thompson, a California Democrat who is chairman of a House task force on gun violence. “The one before that was in a shopping mall in Oregon, and the one before that was in a movie theater in Colorado. I don’t think the proper response is to arm all the projectionists in the movie theaters or all the vendors in the mall.”

Image via Bob Cesca’s Awesome Blog. News item via Frank Rich.

Walking your dog is a great way to meet your neighbors, politely.

A 29-year-old neighbor said she was walking her dog, when her pet got into a fight with Gibbie’s dog. The woman said Gibbie became angry and fired a shot. The woman was not injured, police say.

Gibbie was charged with misdemeanor assault with a deadly weapon and was released later Monday on bond.

Afterthought:

“Misdemeanor assault with a deadly weapon”–what a curious concept.

Show your appreciation of nature, politely.

They found the female great blue heron first.

She huddled on the left bank of a pond off Greenfarm Road last month, left wing bloody and hanging off her body. She was too weak to fight or flee when Carolina Waterfowl rescue volunteers arrived to capture her.

Two days later, Caroline Hicks, one of the many residents who live around the small pond, found the heron’s mate in her yard in similar condition.

Both had been shot by someone authorities say intentionally targeted the birds. Rescue workers last week euthanized the herons after they were unable to repair their injuries.