C’est Rire category archive

Speeding to the hospital:

A Pennsylvania State Trooper is being hailed a hero after delivering a baby on the side of Interstate 95 near the Philadelphia International Airport exit.

Trooper Peter Burghart was patrolling the area Saturday when he saw an SUV speeding down the highway. The vehicle initially failed to stop but eventually pulled over near the airport exit.

They have my vote.

The center lane and left lanes of Commons Blvd. are left turn only lanes. It you go straight, you run into a building.

Frankly, I find her story more plausible than his.

A Greek woman has appeared in court accused of setting fire to a British tourist in Crete after he allegedly groped her in a bar.

Just plain silly:

The social networking Web site (Twitter) apparently scares the (National Football) league’s control-freak coaches so much, they’re even attempting to ban it among fans.

According to the Associated Press, the Miami Dolphins prohibit fans and media at training-camp practices from tweeting, blogging or texting.

At least six other teams have also imposed such restrictions on reporters, even though the workouts are open to the public.

Get one here.

You can’t make this stuff up:

A man who fled naked from an Abington apartment building after stealing women’s clothing from a dresser surrendered to police yesterday.

Shorts short. From El Reg:

A village in Lincolnshire was cut off after a low flying thong wedged itself on power lines.

(snip)

Whilst the barely there undergarment would have caused no problem had it simply been cavorting round a swimming pool in LA, or splashing in the surf in Florida, when combined with the soaking British summer it caused a short circuit, cutting power to 17 homes and businesses in the hamlet.

Follow the link to find out how it got there.

Via Andrew Sullivan.

It will curl your toes:

More than a third of Australia’s total supply of stones for the winter sport of curling have been stolen from a refrigerated lorry in Melbourne.

Police say the thieves probably thought they were taking a lorry full of alcohol from a secure car park at an ice rink.

Never been to France (though I have a good friend who loves the country and the people).

Now I might never go.

Bumper Sticker:

I’m a Pagan and I Vote.

I don’t think it was referring to the motorcycle gang.

The new rage in Virginia: Texas Hold It.

State transportation officials decided last month to close 19 of the state’s 42 rest stops to help ease a $2.6 billion budget gap over the next six years. Each rest stop costs about $500,000 annually to operate.

U. S. space suits come from Delaware. So do I. I’ve actually driven by the factory a few times. It’s a small building on a back road surrounded by farmland.

Space suits are also descended from ladies’ underwear (emphasis added):

When astronauts return to the moon, and maybe beyond, they will stay for far longer than the two-and-a-half hours that Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin spent exploring the moon’s surface. Frederica-based ILC hopes to play a role in keeping the astronauts sheltered — the company is working to develop an inflatable habitat that could be used on the moon.

For NASA’s first trip to the moon, the high-tech suits worn by Apollo 11 astronauts Armstrong, Aldrin and Michael Collins had their roots in bras and girdles.

ILC Dover began as part of International Latex Corp. — later known as Playtex — when the company spun off a division in 1947 that made products such as life vests and rafts for the military.

(Also posted, with slight changes, at Geekazine; I don’t usually duplicate posts, but this was too good to pass up. Cross your heart.)

Victoria Coren in the Guardian:

Which would you prefer to receive: a declaration of love or a gift of £163,424?

It’s OK. Don’t feel bad. There is a recession on. Anyone might have said the same.

In fact, according to impressively scientific-sounding organisation BrainJuicer, these two offers are exactly equivalent. Having polled 1,000 British people on the happiness inspired by “significant life events”, researchers compared their findings to the contentment brought on by lottery wins, then calculated that hearing the words “I love you” brought precisely £163,424 worth of pleasure.

Read the whole thing. It will cause you to reevaluate your life.

iVirgins, that is.

One reborn every iMinute (59p UK is slightly more than one USD).

For just 59p, consumers can download an (iPhone–ed.) application that allows them to take a purity pledge and then display a silver ring on their phone to prove their commitment to abstinence.

Screenshot:

For some reason, I just remembered the old Dorothy Parker quip: “If all the girls at Vassar were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

I was once at a wedding where, when the bride threw the bouquet, everyone stepped back.

They must have known something.

The bouquet landed on the floor.

The marriage lasted six months.

That was still better than this.

Emphasis added:

Conman Bernard Madoff was transferred to the U.S. Penitentiary in Atlanta, where he will begin serving his 150-year sentence, the Bureau of Prisons said on its Web site.

(snip)

Charles Ponzi was also incarcerated at the Atlanta facility, CNN reported. Madoff asked at his June 29 sentencing for masterminding the largest Ponzi scheme in U.S. history to be sent to a medium-security prison in Otisville, New York.

All joking aside, if you can watch this and take it seriously, you have not grounds for deridiing this:

A family in Saudi Arabia is taking a “genie” to court, accusing it of theft and harassment, reports say.

They accuse the spirit of threatening them, throwing stones and stealing mobile phones, Al Watan newspaper said.

The family have lived in the same house near the city of Medina for 15 years but say they only recently became aware of the spirit. They have now moved out.