C’est Rire category archive

Bumper Sticker:

An Obedient Woman
was never remembered by history.

(Link fixed.)

Voices in the Family on the psychology of drivers and driving (from the website):

It’s Monday morning on the Schuylkill expressway, and it is a very loud, frustrating parking lot. And you… well you are speaking in a language of expletives you never would say outside the comfort of your car. This behavior has become acceptable, but most of us wouldn’t dare act this way otherwise. Or would we? On the next Voices in the Family, Dr. Dan Gottlieb talks with the author of Traffic, Tom Vanderbilt about why we drive the way we do and what it says about us. Dr. Dan will also speak with Professor of Psychology at the University of Hawaii, Dr. Leon James, who specializes in traffic psychology.

Follow the link above to the website (if the show has moved off the front page, search the archives for December 22, 2008) or listen here (Real).

Addendum:

Dr. James’s website.

The New York Times collects classic verbal bloopers from inebriated holiday party celebrants. A sample:

“I’m lucky in that my business is recession-proof. People will always need stool softeners.”

“So I told human resources flat out, it’s not sexual harassment if I can prove I’m impotent.”

“I haven’t seen you in forever! Whatever happened to that morals charge?”

H/T Karen for the link.

I have this one dog who likes tissues.

Not fresh tissues.

Used ones.

So today he managed to pull over the bathroom trashcan in search of a fix.

Goes without saying that earlier today I cleaned the bathroom and mopped the floor.

Anyone want a dog? He’s very needy and has the personality of a porcupine.

Free shipping.

More below the Jump

No shortage of Christmas spirit here.

. . . viagra.

Keith Richards is 65.

It’s the dumb ones who get caught.

As H. L. Mencken pointed out, “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people” (emphasis added):

Americans who fled to small vehicles during $4-a-gallon gas are rushing back into the arms of sport-utility vehicles and light trucks, reversing a trend in which economy cars soared in popularity while consumers ditched brawny gas hounds.

Recent data and interviews with local dealers show more U.S. consumers have bought SUVs and pickups of late than any other new vehicle, thanks to the free-fall of crude-oil prices and must-sell discounts that would make even Santa Claus seem like a cheapskate.

Full disclosure: I have a light truck. I also have a 2500 pound trailer boat. I didn’t get the truck to make up for my sense of masculine inadequacy.

As a frequent writer and user of flow charts, I found this enlightening.

The name game.

Dropping like flies.

Here and here.

There’s an old story about the banker who fancied himself the Oracle of the Community.

The members of the Community loathed him, but, so as to curry his favor, they fellated him, much as Republicans fellate the rich.

One day, a villager came to him with his son and said, “I am worried about how my son will turn out. Can you help me?”

The banker said, “Certainly.”

He placed a Bible, a five-dollar note, and a bottle of whiskey on his desk and said, “When you call your son in here, we will see what he takes. If he takes the money, he will be a businessman. If he takes the Bible, he will be a man of the cloth. If the takes the bottle–well, that’s just trouble.”

The villager said, “Okay.”

They opened the door and invited the boy in.

The boy came in, looked at the desk, tucked the money in his pocket, stuck the bottle under his arm, grabbed the Bible, and left the room.

The villager looked at the banker and said, “Oh, crap, he’s going to be a Republican banker. Just like you.”

Twenty-eight messages on the answering machine over the past week.

Three from real persons that I know, about real things that at least sort of matter at least a little bit (and I heard those through the “call screening” feature and took care of them already).

Two others from real persons trying to sell me something I’m not interested in (I’m happy with my Comcast and don’t want Verizon FiOS, thank you).

Four from recorded voices nattering on about stuff I’m not interested in or that’s not relevant to me.

Nineteen (Xcalc tells me that’s 67.8%): Dead air from when the incoming robocall did not hang up before triggering the answering machine.

You Geeks out there, take a look at the embed code and tell me why it has references to John McCain and Sarah Palin. Yeah, I know they’re comedic, but really.

Oh, forget it. I cleaned up the code. It was a mess. Comedy Central needs some webdesigners who know what they are doing.

Via Will Bunch.

Full Disclosure: It’s a clip from an old Midas commercial.

Via NN.

One difference today from when I was a young ‘un is that a much higher percentage of parents seems to be paranoid nutcases about their kids’ health. I say, if they wanna eat dirt, let ’em eat dirt. It’ll make ’em healthy.

El Reg:

A Harvard professor of medical sociology has agreeably warned that increasing hysteria over nut allergies in kids bears the hallmarks of mass psychogenic illness (MPI) – described as “a social network phenomenon involving otherwise healthy people in a cascade of anxiety”.

Writing in the British Medical Journal, Nicholas A Christakis cites the extreme example of when a potentially fatal peanut was “spotted on the floor of a school bus, whereupon the bus was evacuated and cleaned (I am tempted to say decontaminated), even though it was full of 10-year-olds who, unlike two-year-olds, could actually be told not to eat food off the floor”.

(snip)

The facts are these, Christakis insists: “About 3.3 million Americans are allergic to nuts, and even more – 6.9 million – are allergic to seafood. However, all told, serious allergic reactions to foods cause just 2,000 hospitalisations a year (out of more than 30 million hospitalisations nationwide). And only 150 people (children and adults) die each year from all food allergies combined.”

These folks are gonna end up raising a generation of cotton balls.

He should have gone to Acme:

The coyote was caught Monday afternoon at a Sears Appliance and Hardware Store at Northampton Crossings. The mall is in an area of open spaces and farmland near Nazareth, about 50 miles north of Philadelphia.

Addendum, the Next Day:

The coyote was euthanized. Vets said it had internal injuries and might have been hit by a vehicle.

Personally, I prefer Stetson:

It cost Christopher J. Russum $11,400 in bail money following his arrest Sunday for the $24 bottle of Adidas Moves Cologne for Men police said he shoplifted.

Russum, of the 6400 block of Burnite Mill Road west of Felton, was released Sunday after being charged with shoplifting, resisting arrest, reckless endangering, failure to stop on command, reckless driving and 11 other traffic offenses stemming from the Black Friday shoplifting incident.